


things you said

by orphan_account



Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-10-25 13:40:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20725109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: lil tommy/nikki one shots :-)





	1. things you said when we were the happiest we ever were.

**Author's Note:**

> hi so basically i'm a slut for those "things you said..." prompts and i wanna try to write as many of them as i can for tommy and nikki bc we love those terror twins around here ;) 
> 
> this is so short i'm sorry

_things you said when we were the happiest we ever were _

It’s not quite dark out yet, and what little is left of the warm California sun is just beginning to disappear behind the mountains, _slowly _at first and then suddenly, in the blink of an eye, there’s only a little sliver of light left. The sky’s lit up a deep muted orange color and it’s teetering on the precipice of _something darker _and the Sunset Strip’s lit up as well, _electric_, partygoers stumbling out of bars, fast cars, loud music—_rock ‘n’ roll, baby._

It’s more like _dusk, _almost. Nikki smiles, clutching the flyers tight in his hand; the ones that have his picture on them, and Tommy’s, and Vince’s and Mick’s underneath big, bold, _in-your-face _letters that read _Mötley Crüe_.

Tommy’s right at his side. His fingertips brush _ever so slightly _against Nikki’s and he’s _all smiles_, full of energy much like the chaos that’s surrounding them. Nikki pauses to staple a flyer to a wooden telephone pole, feeling as if that electricity’s now rushing and rushing and _rushing _throughout his veins.

He’s never felt so… So _free _before. So sure of himself, so _euphoric_. He can’t help but smile as well, quickly glancing over to Tommy and his mop of chestnut curls and then he smiles even bigger. Their eyes lock for just a moment, and even though it’s fleeting it still leaves Nikki’s mind a _whirlwind_.

No one’s _ever _had that effect on him before. Well… no one except Tommy, that is.

They continue to make their way down the Strip, laughing and cracking jokes to each other until they run out of posters to hang. Nikki takes a few steps back and admires their work because soon everyone’s gonna know their fuckin’ names and he feels like he’s on top of the _fuckin’ _world, _a million bucks. _

“…Nikki?” Tommy asks, pulling Nikki from his little reverie and he’s standing so that he’s bathed under the artificial glow of a streetlight and _god _does he look like an _angel _straight from heaven—“Do you really think we’re gonna make it big?”

He gestures to all those posters they just finished hanging, the ones that have their names written in big, bold letters and their faces on them.

Nikki pauses, considers his words. He briefly looks around but his eyes eventually land right back on Tommy and it’s silent between them but loud everywhere else as Nikki says softly, “I do. I really fucking do.”

There’s a beat. And then Tommy’s _grinning _in such a way that leaves Nikki fucking breathless and leaves tingles running up and down his spine.

“I do, too,” he passes his tongue over his lips, and if Nikki had any lingering doubts in his mind about Mötley they all sure as hell _vanished _after that. Then Tommy reaches out to lace his fingers between Nikki’s as he continues, “I’m so fuckin’ glad I met you, Nik.”

And maybe it’s ‘cause Tommy just called him _Nik_. Maybe it’s that damn _smile _he’s wearing, maybe it’s the Jack that Nikki downed before they left their shithole apartment. Maybe it’s _all of it_, maybe it’s none. But whatever it the hell it is, it’s got Nikki pushing Tommy up against the nearest wall and _kissing him_—soft and slow and Nikki’s a complete mess because of it—and when he finally pulls away, the space between them is still warm.


	2. things you said when we met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok this may or may not be an excuse to write about the diner scene from the movie, u know the one. i've been wanting to write abt this scene ever since i saw the movie for the first time but i didn't wanna just post it by itself hahaha   
(i wrote this a while ago..... also its wayyyy longer than the first one so enjoy!)

_things you said when we met _

Anger rushes through Nikki’s veins, _red-hot _anger that only intensifies when he catches an accidental glimpse of his reflection in the diner window. He sighs, pulling the heavy door open while simultaneously using his other hand to stop the thick blood that’s now dripping from his bruised nose, then makes his way over to a table near the back—but not before grabbing a copy of the paper on his way in.

It’s crowded but not overly so. A few teenagers are scattered ‘round—they’d probably come here after the show had ended, too. Probably watched Nikki get decked in the fucking face by that fuckin’ _prick_.

He balls up a napkin in his fist, sniffs hard and cringes at the metallic, rusty taste of his blood that’s now creeping down the back of his throat, and then pinches the bridge of his nose and tilts his head back—it’d be shame if he ruined his favorite leather jacket, after all, he muses with a smirk blooming on his lips.

_Fuck _London. He was never gonna make it big with them, anyways. Sure, they _sounded good_, Nikki wasn’t gonna even try to deny that, but they just didn’t _stand out enough. _And somewhere deep in the back of his mind, he had always known that.

Yeah… He had no clue why he’d stuck with them for so damn long, but tonight gave him a good enough reason to finally fucking leave them behind in the dust. Fuck ‘em. Assholes didn’t know what they were missing out on.

He reaches for another napkin, holding it up to his nose lightly. Man, that’s gotta be fuckin’ broken, no question about it. Or maybe it’s not, hell, he ain’t a doctor but it just _feels _broken. With a frown, he starts flipping through the paper, completely and utterly disinterested until he gets to a section with a bunch of advertisements and that’s when his eyes _really _light up. He scans through the listings, teeth sunken into his lower lip.

When his favorite waitress, Dottie, finally makes it around to his table—it’s gotten even busier since he’d first walked in, so he really can’t blame her for the wait; not that he ever _would _blame her, though—he orders a plate of toast and a soda to go with it; not the most filling but hey, it’s cheap. And _cheap _is all Nikki can afford. Or, that is, until he finally fuckin’ makes it big on the Strip.

And, speaking of that… he turns his attention back to the newspaper, not at all impressed by the first few listings—mostly kids fresh out of high school with no experience except a few music classes. _Pass_.

His food comes and he mumbles out a quick _thank you_, immediately slurping down his soda, eager to wash the taste of blood away from his mouth. It’s sweet, a little too sweet, so he starts working on that plate of toast, green eyes never daring to leave the paper sitting in front of him.

He’s about to cross out a few names in red ink, napkin still pressed to his nose—he doesn’t wanna get blood all over the table, either—when some _kid _(seriously, he couldn’t have been a day over twenty; Nikki wouldn’t even sell _cigarettes _to him) wearing the most ridiculous pair of leopard print pants Nikki had ever seen comes _bouncing _over to his table.

_Great_.

Nikki’s _really _not in the mood to deal with anyone tonight, especially not after that _shitshow _back at the Starwood.

“Hey, that was badass, dude,” the kid hits him on the arm and Nikki glances up at him, eyes narrowing. He looks pretty nervous, Nikki notices, as he adds, “The show, not the nose, but… Nose was pretty badass, too.”

He’s grinning, ear-to-ear, contrasting with the frown Nikki’s wearing and _god_, Nikki can’t take his eyes off him. Who the fuck _is _this kid?

“The singer’s an asshole,” Nikki says, cursing himself for staring so fuckin’ _hard_—and _oh shit_ _right_, the paper, he should probably get back to that—

“I know, I saw!” he exclaims, full of nothing but pure _energy _and _enthusiasm_, “Hey, fuck him, though! He deserved it.”

Nikki doesn’t look up from the paper this time, hoping he’d just take the fucking hint and leave already but of _course_, he doesn’t. Not that Nikki was _expecting _him to, the kid seems pretty goddamn persistent…

_And_… Case in point: “I got your poster on my bedroom wall,” he blurts out, sudden, and okay, Nikki wasn’t really expecting him to say something like _that_– he can’t help but lift his eyes, staring up at him again. _Fuck_.

He watches as the kid then grimaces at the words that had just left his mouth, his eyes shut as he shakes his head. He backtracks, mumbling, “I can’t believe I just said that.”

Maybe Nikki’s seeing things, but… is that a bit of a light pink blush that’s dusting his cheeks? Kinda cute—_shit_. No, he’s not cute, he’s _annoying_, and… “Take the fuckin’ poster _down_, man,” Nikki eventually spits, a sharp edge worming its way into his voice, “London’s over.”

“Anything else I can get you, boys?” Dottie suddenly appears out of nowhere, a pen tucked behind her ear and a notepad in her hands. The kid scrambles to sit down in the open seat across from Nikki, his long, messy curls obscuring his expression.

Nikki smiles up at Dottie as he drawls, “Could you get me a Jack and Coke?”

_Fuck it_, he rationalizes. He needs it.

She scribbles his order—if you can even _call it that_—down, not missing a beat. “And for you, hon?”

“Blueberry pancakes, please,” he beams, that goddamn _smile _of his bright enough to give the fucking _sun _a run for its money.

At that, Dottie leaves and then it’s just him and Nikki again and _Jesus_, why the hell is Nikki so nervous all of a sudden?

“My new band is gonna be something nobody’s ever fuckin’ seen before,” Nikki tells him, trying to shake his nerves. He drops his eyes down to the advertisements once again and circles one that looks especially promising: _Loud, rude and aggressive guitarist seeks band… Call Mick. _

_Loud, rude, aggressive_… Exactly what Nikki’s looking for and—he slightly jumps back a bit when the kid suddenly spins a drumstick between his fingers, slamming it down on the paper, “That dude looks pretty cool.”

Knitting his eyebrows together, Nikki leans back in his seat and asks, slowly, “Do you... carry those with you everywhere?”

“_Yeah_,” he says, like it’s fucking _obvious_, like Nikki should've _known that_, then continues twirling twirling _twirling _that drumstick with a smirk and okay, now he’s just _showing off _but still, Nikki kinda likes it. No, he kinda more than likes it.

Nikki physically can’t take his eyes off the kid, mesmerized. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

He stops, the smug smirk on his lips slipping as he quietly admits, “High school marching band… Hey, but I rock, too!”

_Yeah_, Nikki thinks, nodding along, _he really fuckin’ does rock—_Shit. What the hell was he even thinking? _Christ_, _this kid_… It’s safe to say that Nikki’s never met anyone like him.

Before either of them have the chance to get another word in, Dottie’s back with their orders and Nikki suddenly wishes he got something more than just a Jack and Coke because that stack of pancakes looks pretty damn appetizing. 

Whatever, too late now. Nikki only pushes the glass of fizzy Coca Cola off to the side, reaching specifically for the whiskey shooter and then twisting the cap off. The kid’s eyes are practically _glued _to him as he downs it all in one long, smooth sip, and Nikki even catches him mumbling, “Woah…” 

Now it’s Nikki’s turn to smirk and _oh _does he. He lifts an eyebrow. “What?”

“I…” he starts, drowning his pancakes in syrup, talking more to himself than to Nikki, “I’m eating pancakes with _Nikki fuckin’ Sixx_, dude! I can’t believe this is even _happening_.”

Damn, this kid _really_ knew how to make him feel special.

“I, uh, never got your name,” Nikki says after a few seconds of silence, trying his best to just _play it cool_, for fuck’s sake.

“Tommy,” he nods enthusiastically, his curly hair bouncing along as he does, “Tommy Lee—Did I… fuck, did I really forget to tell you my name, dude? That’s fuckin’ embarrassing.”

“Tommy,” Nikki echoes, and he’s smiling as he says it. God, even his fucking _name _is cute.

“Yeah,” he nods, sliding his plate of pancakes a little closer to Nikki. “Oh, and you can take as many as you want, Nik.”

Nikki takes one with that same smile stretched across his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update yeet


	3. things you never said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones a lil tiny bit angsty?? kind of  
(it's based on the scene in the movie where tommy meets heather for the first time at vince's party)

_things you never said _

It shouldn’t hurt this much but it does.

The party’s in full swing now, bottles of fancy champagne popped open and Nikki sits sandwiched between Mick and Tom Zutaut on Vince’s couch with a frown on his lips and a lukewarm beer in his hands that he’s drinking but _not really_. He sets it down on the glass table in front of him, feeling a little sick, and turns his attention to the little baggie of coke he’s got shoved in his pocket instead. He dumps it out, carves it into a nice, thin little line and snorts it all in one go without even missing a beat. It doesn’t get him as high as it used to but it’s still _something_, something to help him _forget _and shove his feelings back down where they fucking _belong_.

Nikki’s never been one to actually _deal _with his problems – no, he’d much rather prefer to run away from them as fast as he possibly could or to ignore them despite their always _piling up _and getting so much worse, _snowballing _into something even bigger. It’s all he knows how to do, it’s all he _ever_ knew how to do.

And it’s exactly what he was doing tonight; ignoring, forgetting, _running away_. It's all he _can _do, ‘cause what the fuck else is he supposed to do, anyways?

Tell Tommy how much it _hurts _to see his fingertips lightly resting on that blonde’s arm, her head thrown back, nose all scrunched up as she laughs at something Tommy said? Tell Tommy how much he _wishes _it was him out there instead? Tell Tommy how he’s _in love with him_, how he’s been in love with him ever since they met?

…No, he’s not gonna do _any _of that. What he _is _gonna do, however, is snort some more coke, guzzle down some more of that cheap ass beer (really, Vince?) and hopefully pass out before he sees another second of this shit because he doesn’t think he can stomach it anymore.

Ignoring, forgetting, running away ‘till he doesn’t think he can run anymore.

It really shouldn’t hurt this much but it fucking _does_.

He leans back after he finishes his line, the couch cushions seemingly swallowing him up. The ivory powder feels thick in the back of his throat and his eyes don’t leave Tommy once.

A few minutes pass and even though his mind is just beginning to feel a little hazy, the only thing that occupies his thoughts is _Tommy._ Still.

Tommy, and, well… All the things Nikki could never, ever bring himself to _actually_ _say _to Tommy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i changed my username its still me y'all


	4. things you said in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is from tommy's perspective, gotta switch things uP 
> 
> lil angsty again, sorry <3

_things you said in the dark_

From day one, Tommy’s relationship with Nikki was always nonchalant _you-know-this-doesn’t-mean-anything-right_’s whispered roughly in his ear in the back of some shitty little bar. It was drinking too much and _saying _too much and waking up the next morning alone, Nikki nowhere to be found. It was _no-don't-call-me-‘Nik’ _and no, well, no _emotions_ on Nikki’s end.

They were friends with benefits, and that's _all they were ever gonna be _\- at least, that's what Nikki told Tommy every time Tommy got a little too wasted at three a.m., the two of them stumbling out of yet another bar only to be swallowed up by the _chaos _that is the Sunset Strip.

(That sort of thing happens way too often for Tommy’s liking.)

Friends with benefits.

_Friends with fucking benefits_. Nothing more, nothing less. _God _does Tommy hate that term; there’s something so... _empty _about it. So fake, so pretend. Like he’s living some sort of a fucking _lie _and he might as well be.

And yet he can’t help but _stay_, pathetically clinging onto the false hope that someday, somehow, Nikki would realize he wants more and that Tommy’s happyto be his idea of _more_. 

And, well, that never happened, never—

"Hey, T," Nikki whispers, looking up at him behind heavy lashes and a half-lidded gaze, then pauses to take a drag from the cigarette he’s got loosely tucked between his fingers. "What're you thinking about? You're too quiet, it's not like you."

Reality sinks in again and again and Tommy only _sits there_, silently debating if he should pour his heart out and tell Nikki what’s on his mind, what he’s _really_ thinking or do as he always does and just settle for making up some bullshit lie. 

“It’s kinda stupid," Tommy shrugs, laughing airily and pretends that it doesn’t bother him as much as it does.

But Nikki only presses it further. “No, tell me.” 

_Bullshit lie it is._

But then Tommy hesitates. His mind goes blank but yet it feels totally jumbled _all at the same time _and—_Shit_. He intends on saying something about how he feels sick, how he thinks he’s gonna puke _any _second now, how he needs to _get the hell out of here _and _go home_, but instead mumbles something that comes out sounding a lot like _“I’m in love with you, Nikki.”_

Then he watches as Nikki crushes his cigarette, his glassy eyes fixed on Tommy as he does, and what little's left of it quickly fizzles out against the ashtray, the faint trails of smoke disappearing into thin air. Tommy’s own eyes dart around the bar they’re sitting in, up to the ceiling then down to his shoes then over to the doors and _oh shit yeah _Nikki’s still staring at him ‘cause he fucked this up (whatever the hell _this_is) and –

It’s too quiet and it's too dark inside the bar they’re in that Tommy forgot the name of and Tommy hates it.

It’s _that _kind of quiet where all Tommy can hear is his heart pounding and pounding and _pounding _rhythmically in his chest (and he really hopes Nikki can’t hear it, too) as he desperately waits for Nikki to say something, _anything_…

“Tommy,” he starts, green eyes narrow and his name sounds like pure venomspilling from Nikki’s lips _like that _and it feels like a punch to the stomach. “What did I fuckin’ tell you—”

Tears gather behind Tommy’s tired eyes as he interrupts, voice a little too _goddamn _shaky, “Forget I said anything.”

He laughs, then; hell, you’ve gottawhen _you’re the fucking joke. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i PROMISE not all the chapters i write are gonna be angsty like this but....... i couldn't help myself :-)


	5. things you never said but eventually did.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a continuation of chapter 3, "things you never said"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'ALL WANTED A PART 2 TO THIS SO HERE U GO <3

_things you never said but eventually did _

Nikki doesn’t wanna pick up the phone but it’s already on the third ring so he forces himself to.

It’s Tommy, he _knows _it’s Tommy that’s calling.

And he also knows it’s because he’s spent so much time _avoiding _Tommy, _running _from him and barely even speaking a word to the drummer during band practice and then _bolting _the very second it was over, and… looks like running away from your problems can only get you _so far_, because here Nikki is, frowning as he suddenly finds himself standing face-to-face with them. “Hello?”

“Nikki! Dude!” Tommy’s voice is loud on the other end, crackling through the receiver and filled to the brim with energy like always – and it contrasts with Nikki’s flat, tired one almost comically. “I feel like it’s been forever.”

“Yeah, T-Bone,” Nikki agrees, because, well, it _has been forever_. And the only one Nikki can blame for that is _himself _‘cause he never fucking told Tommy how he felt and now Tommy’s happy with Heather and—“Yeah, it has.”

“So why don’t you come over tonight, dude?” Tommy asks. “I miss ya, Sixx.”

Squeezing his eyes shut, Nikki hesitates. He’s trying so hard to swallow the lump that’s formed in his throat but he just _can’t _fucking do it. “I don’t know, I’m kinda busy, I…”

Silence. He lets the end of his sentence trail off into nothing at all.

And then Tommy speaks up, quieter than before. “Nik…”

Nikki can _hear _the sadness in Tommy’s voice clear as day and it only makes him feel even _worse _about everything. He bites down on his lip ‘till he tastes blood, staring out the window at the golden LA sunset that’s now blurred by his tears.

“Tommy, I,” he breathes, then closes his mouth, stops himself while he’s ahead. It comes out too shaky.

There’s another pause. This one’s a little too long, Nikki thinks.

“Are you okay, Nikki?”

Far from it, actually, but Nikki doesn’t dare say that out loud. Instead, he only says, “‘Course.”

And Tommy doesn’t buy it – Nikki should've _known _he wouldn’t. “C’mon, Sixx, I know you. I know when you’re lying to me, man. What’s wrong?”

Before he can stop himself, the words come tumbling from his mouth, all rushed and crashing into each other and maybe he doesn’t wanna stop himself, he thinks. “What’s wrong is that I _love you_, Tommy.”

He exhales. Waits for Tommy to say something. Looks at the sunset again.

“I—dude, wha-?”

“I know you’re with Heather, I just…” Nikki stammers, cuts him off and he ignores how much it hurts to say that first part out loud, “Needed to tell you that because I think I’d hate myself forever if I didn’t.”

“Fuck Heather.” And that’s pretty much the last thing he expects to hear Tommy say; it makes him wanna pinch himself to make sure he’s not dreaming this up. “Nikki, I… I’m glad you told me, because I love you too.”

The frown on Nikki’s lips is replaced with a big grin and when he looks out at the setting sun again, his eyes are dry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope this made up for part 1 :)


	6. things you said in our vows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is for @saintoflosangeles <3   
i hope it doesn't suck SJFKSDJK

_things you said in our vows _

When Nikki finally proposed to Tommy, he couldn’t stop crying and now it looks like their wedding day is shaping up to be the same way. Tommy’s wearing white, dark curls falling around his face like a frame around a painting and Nikki bites down on his lip to stop the tears from flowing. 

Tommy’s eyes meet his own and Nikki smiles then, and his cheeks are a little sore but never mind that. All he can concentrate on is Tommy, Tommy standing across from him at the altar and looking like a dream. This is everything Nikki’s ever wanted; _Tommy _is everything Nikki’s ever wanted.

Nikki thinks he’s the luckiest man on this planet for two reasons: one, he somehow got a second chance at life after that cold December night back in ‘87, and two, he’s about to marry the man he’s been in love with for so many years now. He doesn’t know what the hell he ever did to deserve Tommy but he ain’t complaining. 

Tears prick the corners of his eyes and he doesn’t bother trying to hold them back anymore as Tommy reads his vows, hands shaking a bit as he clutches the tattered piece of paper. 

“Nik,” Tommy’s voice is quiet, but it still makes Nikki’s heart beat faster. He takes a short breath before looking up, dark brown eyes big and _warm_ and just like they were when they met in that dingy little diner all those years ago. “Nikki, dude…”

And Nikki smiles even bigger because only Tommy would work the word _dude _into his fucking wedding vows. Crazy kid, gotta love him. 

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he continues, and it takes everything in Nikki not to break down. “You rock my world, man, I know that’s cheesy but… it’s true, and,” he pauses, throws a grin Nikki’s way, “I think I’m in love for real this time. I mean every word of that, Sixx.” 

Nikki’s all choked up, teary smiles and shaky breathing. He stayed awake until two a.m. last night, long after Tommy fell asleep, his only company being his thoughts, a pen, and a piece of paper as he poured his heart out and oh god, now he’s about to do this _for real, _about to say everything out loud. 

Tommy beams at him as he begins, “Tom—”

And that’s all he’s able to get past his lips ’cause he’s crying now. He’s crying, way past the point of just _choked up_, and he stares down at his scribbled writing. “You saved my life, T. In more ways than one and I don’t think I can ever thank you enough…” 

He’s not the only one who’s crying, he realizes, as he glances up at Tommy (though Tommy’s trying to hide it). 

“You’re my home sweet home, Tommy. Always have been, always will be,” he says. There’s more that he wants to add, _so _much more, but he can save that for later when he’s less of a mess. 

Nikki kisses Tommy and despite the tear-stains on his cheeks, there are smiles on both their lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know how weddings work... sorry bout that, loves   
idk i imagine this taking place in the 90s or something hahaha


	7. things you said after it was over.

_things you said after it was over_

It’s raining in L.A. and that’s weird. The sky is a soft grey, sheets of rain drizzling down from the heavy clouds up above, golden sun nowhere to be found. The cold rain slightly seeps into Nikki’s socks as he sits outside, alone on his balcony but he doesn’t move. Does nothing to fix it; just keeps sitting there. 

He lets out a sigh. His feet are starting to go numb. 

The tail end of the afternoon quickly fades into evening. The rain had long since stopped; it’s all petrichor outside now. Nikki can’t stop thinking of Tommy, of how much the drummer loved the smell of the rain and—

He’s stuck in the past. Trapped in that run-down little apartment they shared on the Strip, on their beat up couch with Tommy at his side, and he’d give anything to stare into those brown eyes of his one more time. 

Sometimes he catches himself wondering if Tommy thinks the same about him, too. 

He tried to forget, to move on—_god _did he try. He tried to drown all his memories of Tommy with drugs and alcohol, with girls, with money… But it didn’t work. It never did. 

Somehow his thoughts always circle right back around to Tommy.

And that’s when Nikki realizes that he doesn’t want this to be yet another one of his many regrets. He doesn’t want this to be an _almost_.

A _maybe_. 

A _what if, _a _could’ve been_. 

So he pulls himself up from his seat on the balcony, shivering a little in his thin t-shirt. He takes his wet socks off, swapping them for a new pair and some old sneakers, then throws on a jacket and zips it up. Before he has the time to give his actions too much thought, he’s speeding down the streets of L.A. towards Tommy’s house. 

His heart pounds loud in his ears as he knocks on the door. He peers through the window; The lights are on in the living room, bright as the sun. His heart’s pounding even faster now.

The door opens with a creak and Nikki’s left speechless when he sees Tommy for the first time in a long time, _way _too long. Looks like Tommy is, too. 

“Nikki…?” Tommy looks him up and down. “What are you doing here, man?” 

Nikki takes a breath. Tommy’s hair is shorter now, messy waves stopping at his jawline. He pierced his nose, too, and Nikki had never gotten the chance to tell him how nice it looks on him because they hadn’t talked since—

“I, uh…” and it’s like the words are fighting their way past Nikki’s lips, “Hey.” 

“Hey,” Tommy echoes, features softening. “Do you wanna come inside, Nik? It’s cold out there, dude. You should come inside.” 

“Yeah, I,” Nikki mumbles, “I’d like that.”

Tommy’s house is big, nice and clean on the inside with its fancy white marbled floors and white couches. They’ve come a long way since that run-down little apartment they all shared on the Strip. It’s been a while since they talked. Tommy’s hair is shorter now, and he pierced his nose, too, and it feels… Like a punch to the chest. 

It’s bittersweet. 

He wishes he could’ve been there through it all. 

The silence between them grows deafening almost, right until Nikki shatters it to pieces. “Tommy, I… I can’t stop thinking about you. About us, about what we had, what—”

_Could’ve been_, Nikki was about to say, but Tommy interrupts. “Yeah. Me too, Nik.” 

Nikki sits there on the edge of the couch, silent as lifts his eyes to meet Tommy’s, wondering why he never did this sooner. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on tumblr @malibubarbievince or @looksthatkilled if you want :)

**Author's Note:**

> comments n kudos are always appreciated, love u <3


End file.
